Pain still smiles and pain still hopes.

I don’t know where you find yourself today but one thing I do know is that we have all experienced pain in some way, shape, or form. You just have to live a little and the inevitable human experience known as pain will eventually meet you like an uninvited house guest. I have an unpopular stance on pain and brokenness; instead of rejecting them and running from them, I embrace them both.

See, I relate to pain much more than I know how to relate to happiness; weird right?

In a world that has programmed us to seek pleasure above all, the concept that this seemingly negative reality feels more familiar to me may sound foreign or even confusing but my connection to pain has produced my purpose. I believe that God uses the pain that I carry down deep to birth something beautiful in me that I am then able to give to others.

What I have learned over the years is that coming to Jesus doesn’t always take away the pain that we sometimes carry in the deepest parts of us and that’s okay because His grace carries us in the midst of it. As believers, it’s important that we do not try and deny our humanity as though it’s something that we must hide from God, in shame, rather we ought to invite Him into it.

Hebrews 4:15 tells us: “For we do not have a High Priest who is unable to sympathize and understand our weaknesses and temptations, but One who has been tempted [knowing exactly how it feels to be human] in every respect as we are, yet without [committing any] sin.” (AMP).

God understands our humanity which is something that I find a lot of comfort in; this also means that we can be honest about where we are at any given moment.

The fact that I still carry pain used to be something that I thought I had to hurry up and work through because it wasn’t bringing God glory, but I have come to find that this couldn’t be further from the truth. I am a living testament of Romans 8:28,

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”

God has delivered me from the spirit of heaviness and defeat but the memories are still there. See my pain has turned into my burden. I have a burden for people that are hurting and living in brokenness.

Truth is, I still cry when I share intimate details about my experiences, but instead of feeling hopeless, it reminds me to give glory to the One who rescued me from that darkness. I am reminded every time that He is faithful when I feel the sting of the hurt that so easily could have been the end of me.

I now have a passion to introduce all those who suffer to the only One who has the power to set them free.

So instead of running from pain, denying it, sitting in it, or flat out putting up a front like it’s completely gone; I stay tender to it because it allows me to relate to the pain of others.

I am not a superwoman that has it all together. I am a broken woman who knows the One who makes her whole.

God loves you and so do I.

– mariela